Have you ever felt so close to something, like it was right within your grasp. You could almost taste the rich flavours, smell the intoxicating aromas, and it was pulled right out of your fingertips. This hit me last night, moments before I fell asleep, ( I always come up with the strangest notions, in those few minutes before I nod off..) and I realised, that Im always just that feather-brush away from what I desire.
Back when I was a junior, It constantly irritated me that a teacher would give me 84%. I could not figure out why that extra one percent couldn’t have been awarded to me. On weekend assignments I would spend hours working on essays, perfecting my grammer, trying to impress that teacher, but I always remained that one or two percent away. Later did I realise that it was the perserverence and dedication that would grant me an A.
Recently, I’ve had another experience of this. How my false sense of seccurity led me to believe that I was safe, that I had what I longed for most. Yet when it was pulled from me, when it knocked me down, pushing me, crushing me, it became unbearable. It deprived me of breath. This gut wrenching experience has taught me. Never trust in what you have, until you are holding it within your fingertips. I’ve realised now that nothing comes easy, this world, this life is a challenge. Constantly pushing our limits until we can prove ourselves worthy to society and ourselves.
I wont let myself come that close again. I wont feel that loss, the feeling of misery. I want to prove to myself that I will reach what my heart desires, that I will overcome the obstacles that obstruct my path to happiness.
Orlaithfarrell's Blog 